


Dead Celebrities and Discovering What Duct Tape Is

by MHmurderousHedgehog



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Fluff, How Do I Tag, M/M, Meteorstuck, Mostly Dialogue, also karkat likes taylor swift
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-15 00:40:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3431663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MHmurderousHedgehog/pseuds/MHmurderousHedgehog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm not creative and I can't really plot so I don't really know what this is or will be but it's based of a roleplay on MSPARP<br/>I don't even kow if I'll add more than one chapter </p>
<p>Basically Dave and karkat talking and then ship<br/>*rolls away*</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dead Celebrities and Discovering What Duct Tape Is

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first actual fic I've written publicly, so feedback, whether positive or negative, would be greatly appreciated ;u;

You’re currently in the room of the meteor that the humans have turned into their makeshift “living room.” You’re leaning on against the couch cushions, reading a book and clearly do not want to be interrupted. This doesn’t stop Dave Strider from crawling out of the depths of the meteor to fulfill his mission of annoying the everloving fuck out of you.

“Sup nubs,” he greets you, strolling over to the couch and plopping down right next to you.

“Nothing, Strider,” you glare up at him from your book.“And don’t call me that; the sharpness or dullness of my horns is none of your fucking business.”

“I never said it was any of my business. Besides, if you don’t like that nickname, I can just give you another one,” he smirks.

“Well, you did address their nubbiness with that idiotic nickname. Just call me ‘Karkat’ or even just ‘Vantas.’ Is that too much to ask?”

“I think I am incapable of saying those names. It’s just too hard.”

“Goddamn it,” you sigh. “I overestimated your rotting think pan.”

“You don't have to be rude about my inability.”

“But I don’t have to be nice about it either.”

“Well then i guess it’s best for you to not say anything at all, Karkat.”

You don’t even notice that he actually said you name. You were too busy shooting that idea down right away. “That’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard. How the _fuck_ am I supposed to be quiet when I-” Oh wait. You aren’t a leader anymore. That ruins that argument. “Nevermind,” you mumble inaudibly.

“It’s easy. There’s this thing called duct tape. You put it over your mouth and the words stop coming out like magic.”

“You're forgetting about our cultural differences.” It irritates you so much when he references something from Earth and expects you to understand. “So I have no idea what the fuck that is,” you continue. “It sounds like a piece of absolute shit that I don’t want to hear about anyway.”

“It’s this sticky shit that holds things together.”

“Oh, that actually sounds pretty useful-”

“Yeah it is,” he interrupts.

“But isn’t that just like glue,” you finish, talking over him.

“No. It’s better than glue. You won’t believe how many girls love making fancy shit out of duct tape.”

This does nothing to further your understanding and it just irritates you more. “I’m just picturing a glue sculpture here and I don’t understand any of this. Can you try to elaborate on this substance, or is your think pan incapable of that too?”

“I can do it. Give me a chance to explain.” He takes an annoyingly long pause before asking, “You know what paper is, right?”

Is he fucking shitting you right now?? “No, I have never heard of this ‘paper,’” you say mockingly, coating your voice in a fair amount of sarcasm.

“Oh my god, re-”

“Fucking duh I know what paper is! I was in the middle of reading a fucking book before you interrupted, which, surprise surprise! It’s made of fucking paper!!” You throw the book at him and he just catches it and puts it by his side.

“Oh, okay, chill out. Duct tape is like paper but on one side it’s sticky. It normally comes grey, but you can get some with cool patterns and stuff on it.”

“Oh okay. See, that didn’t kill you to actually be helpful and explain something for once.”

“Wow it didn’t kill me. I’m shocked.”

“I’m disappointed.”

“You’re disappointed?”

“That it didn’t kill you. But not actually, I was kidding,” you clarify. That was pushing the line with banter. You’d actually be broken if anything happened to Dave. As much as you hate to admit it, you really care about him.

“Are you sure you were kidding?” He picks up with the joking again and smirks at you to let you know he knew you were just kidding.

“No. Maybe I should suggest you do something harder that could physically damage you. Like saying my actual fucking name.”

“Okay, I’ll try.” He takes a deep breath and pretends to concentrate really hard. “Karrrr…”

“Almost there.”

“Kaaaa..” You look at him expectantly. “I can’t do it. Too hard.”

“Jegus fucking shit dicks,” you roll your eyes, “I was hoping you would at least break your arm or hurt yourself some other way in the attempt.”

“The only thing that’s getting hurt is my feelings.”

“Good. Let them hurt.”

“You’re being a real ass today. Like the day before that. And the day before that.”

“Yes, are you noticing a pattern there?”

“Yeah, actually, I am.”

“I’m regularly an 'ass' in your presence because I fucking hate you!” Huge lie. “Platonically.” Huger fucking lie.

“Oh, well I see that I’m hated here,” he starts. “You’re a hater. But I don’t care; I’m just gonna shake it off like Taylor Swift.”

“Yet again, I have no idea who yo-” Actually you might know who that is, now that you think about it. “Taylor Swift… Actually, Rose showed me some human songs, including some by her. Taylor Swift wasn’t that bad. Actually, she was pretty good.”

“Wait, you actually like Taylor Swift?”

“Yes.” Why, does that surprise him?

“Excuse me while I try to hold back all of my laughter.” He actually does look like he’s trying to keep his composure, with an amused smirk, struggling to stay just that. A smirk. He won’t let himself actually smile, which disappoints you.

“Fuck you.” You just glare at him while he’s actually trying to stifle his laughter now. “Her songs are good.”

“Nah, but thanks for the offer, Karkat.”

“What-”

“Her songs are just about bad break ups.”

“First of all, not all of them are, and second of all, they’re still good,” you say critically, like you can’t believe him. You can’t. She does have good music. “You just can’t appreciate good music with all your fucking rapping.”

“Oh my god, have you heard Blank Space?” he asks, completely ignoring your accusation of his taste in music. “Ya know, the one where she is basically admitting that she’s psycho as fuck. She’s the girlfriend from hell.”

“Okay, that was in response to some douches like you that think of her personality as just a girl who dates a bunch of guys but keeps losing them because shes “needy” or “emotional” and then goes to write songs about it in revenge. WHICH IS A COMPLETE MISREPRESENTATION. She doesn’t have to share her personal life, so she wrote this, sort of making fun of all those misconceptions.” Whoops you got a little carried away there, trying to defend one of your favorite musical artists. “Uhm. Not that I looked into it that much. Rose explained that too. I didn’t research your human celebrities.”

“...I just can’t believe you right now. You actually like that shit.”

“First of all, it’s not shit. Second of all, why is that hard to believe? You made fun of me for liking romcoms before, and this is basically the same with my musical preference.”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Which is perfectly fine and much superior to yours, by the way.”

“Mhm, I’m sure it is.” He pauses for a while, trying to remember something. Then his face lights up when he remembers. “Have you ever heard of Bart Baker? You really need to see some of his parodies about her.”

“No, and I don’t want to see any parodies of her. Like I said, I genuinely like her music and respect her as a person. Why is that so hilarious fucking to you?” You're getting kind of pissed off pretty fast now.

“Yes, you can go ahead and respect the fuck out of her while I sit back and laugh.”

“Fine then. I don’t give a fuck.” You just want to go back to reading at this point.

“Is she your new goddess or something,” he continues.

“No. What does that even mean?”

“All hail the Taylor Swift. Like, have you seen her hair?”

“Why would I worship a dead singer.”

“Because you’re weird like that? I dunno.”

“Wow, thanks for that, it’s nice to know you assume my think pan is full of as much shit as yours is.”

“Oh wow, when you think about that it’s kinda gross. It’s like having actual shit in yo-”

“You basically worshiped your bro,” you interrupt. “He’s like a dead celebrity to you.” It’s out before you think any better of it. It’s silent. You feel an instant pang of guilt. What The Fuck is wrong with you???

“I-” He doesn’t say anything else.

“I’m sorry,” you manage, “actually. Are.. you okay there? Sorry. I’m an asshole.”

“No you’re not sorry. You’re just about as cold as Alaska,” he tries to joke. It’s weak.

“I am sorry.. that was uncalled for.”

“Okay, fine, I’ll act like I believe you and say that it’s fine.”

“... Is it actually fine?”

Dave sighs. “Yeah, I guess it’s fine.”

“Sorry…” You scoot a little closer and awkwardly pat his shoulder, trying to comfort him somewhat because you screwed up and you hate seeing Dave sad. This is the first time you have seen him sad, actually. And you want it to be the last.

“Don’t worry about it.” you stop patting his shoulder and he looks away. You’re still focusing on his face with a permanently fixed concerned look. “This got awkward real fast..”

“Yeah, sorry..” You just stare into his shades for a while more, and you wonder how his eyes look. You have nothing else to break the silence, so you just slowly reach up to take them. Dave just swats your hand away though. “Sorry.. Why do you always wear those shades, anyway?”

“I don’t like my eyes, okay?”

“Oh. Why not?”

“I.. I just don’t.”

“Okay then. I bet they don’t look bad.. You don’t have to be ashamed of how you look.”

“Maybe to you they aren’t.”

You lean forward and wrap your arms around him in an awkward hug. “Sorry,” you start muttering quietly by his ear. “I know how it is to hate a part of yourself. You’re talking to the fucking mutant. And I just keep fucking things up, like this conversation.”

“Karkat.. don’t worry about it. It’s fine, I don’t mind.”

You pull back from the hug at look at him. “Are you sure..?”

“Yeah. I’m pretty damn sure.”

“Okay..” You give him a small smile. He lightly pats your head. This comforting contact relaxes you from your worry, and your eyelids lower slowly, feeling heavy. Then you accidentally fucking purr. Right by Strider’s ear. You immediately swallow the noise, but it seems he heard it anyway.

“Oh my god. Did you just purr?” He has a small smile, not his usual smirk.

You back out of the hug and try not to look at him. “N-no.” Fucking stutter. You clear your throat and try again. “No. I did not.”

“You totally purred, don’t deny it.” Now he’s actually smiling in amusement.

“Your think pan really is rotting if you think I’d purr in your general vicinity,” you spit back sharply.

“No, I know what I heard.”

“Fine then. What if I did?”

“If you did, that’d be fucking adorable.” Wait. what.

“Wait. what.” You can feel your face burning up now.

“Oh god, you’re red as a fucking cherry now.”

“Shut up,” is all you manage.

“Make me.” Holy shit yeah now your entire face is probably really red.

“H-how..?

He just shrugs.

“By…. uhm.”

“Hm?”

“Kissingyouorsomething equally as stupid….” you mumble quickly.

“Well, you could always do that. It’s not like I’d mind.”

“......You wouldn’t..?”

“Mhmm~”

“I’ve never.. I’ve never actually kissed anyone… How…”

“If you’re asking how to kiss someone, it’s simple.”

“Y-yeah.. How?”

“Just like this.” He leans forward and plants a firm, short, kiss on your lips.

Haha, yeah, your face is never not going to be red by this point. “Oh... Okay.” This time you lean forward to meet his lips in another short kiss.


End file.
